Small,
Insignificant in the world of giants
A child stands on a gray street corner
Eyes glazed
With the daze
From the world crashing in
Searching for a path away from the pain. 

Not me?, not me? 

Visions of pain dance before these eyes.
Nurturing love corrupted to toxic hate with the
pollutants of the destroyed worlds before,
washing through the mind,
soaking into the essence of an open being
Penetrating the gaping hole
Torn in a fragile spirit
Filling the cracks in the
Pain racked body. 

Not me?, not me? 

Visions of accusations
Flying madly about the room
Coming from mouths
Tortured by hidden frustrations of ancient pains,
Feeds the madness
Seen only by the eyes of the innocent
Who hides
Hearing but not understanding
The prophecies of unexpected torture to come
From the gods 

Not me? ,  not me

Fear so great that the brain finds
Resources to know when the god of pain is coming
But only after having it sneak up, so many times
Not knowing how to hide or break the bonds of omnipotent strength
The ties in blood to this god. 

Not me?, not me?

Ravenously feeding on the bitter fruits
The only food known,
Fed by the goddess of torture
To reduce the load she carried
The Goddess of the greatest power
Who could use just enough pain ,
to feed the seeds she planted.
Seeds that quickly sprang to life
In the rich soil of this virgin field
Producing trees
Whose roots rent the fabric of the soul
Whose trunks provide the mazed walls of a prison
Whose boughs produce unexpected fruits. 

Not me?, not me? 

Visions of
Being ripped apart
As the Gods first fight between themselves
As to who will have to carry the burden
As they desert their home,
Then coming to a stalemate,
They ask the burden which hell it wishes to burn in.
Watching, with anticipation
as it tries to decide
between
physical pain
or
mental torture
knowing that either way
both will still be
just less of one.
Pain is chosen because it ends. 

Not me?, not me? 

Witnessing an adolescent?s unfortunate
Bountiful harvest
From the orchard planted by the Gods
And fed by peers, as they took out their anger and frustrations,
Only to watch as on of their own
Wretched mass succeeded in getting a fight
Winning
A broken neck with a year of agony
Before death

Not me?, not me?

An adolescentWhose vision of society
Was the contempt of peers,
Believing that the only way out
Was to hide away?
Far away? 

Not me?, not me? 

Who, in failing to hide away,
Due to incompetence
Loneliness
And lack of strength,
Searched desperately
For something to fill the holes
Money
Cocaine
Prostituting 

Not me?, not me? 

Running from place to place
Trying desperately to hide
From the pain.
Finally finding that by caring for others
Even when they just used this
Innocently baiting with promises of friendship
And love
Until a need came that they did not wish to give.
The pain was not felt as much. 

Not me?, not me? 

Marrying one
Who needed someone to care for them
While they hid from their pain
By numbing themselves with drugs and sex,
With others. 

Not me?, not me? 

Discovering the pain was still there
Needing
And now tired
Searching
And alone? 

Not me?

ŠJohn Jacob