THROUGH THE EYES OF THE GODDESS

Every now and then

there is a glimpse

And when you concentrate

it is nearly unbelievable

But the glimpses

they are the best

they are the true-est

those real looks

into the heart of life

The moment

when you are standing alone

and all of a sudden, you are not alone anymore

She takes your hand

and shows you

the veil lifts

and you see the truth

without tools or help.

You just see

and the Earth shines with beauty once more

for just a second

when you glimpse

with her eyes

©Kacey Holton

Whats Your Name 

what is a name anyway
in some ways its all about you
and in others it's not you at all 

like to a war veteran who lost it all
and came home (maybe) a broken man
is he who he is because of his name  
or is his name something because of who he is 

or a sick and dying child
in a hospital bed somewhere
and her mother crying next to her
running her fingers through her hair 

or what about your neighbor
of whom you know nothing about
or the guy sitting next to you
in a small town coffee shop 

do we even know there names
or the stories they have to tell
do they know anything about us
or do we even care 

I've been known to ask myself
who these brave and special people are
and what do they wish for
upon a fallen star 

have you ever stopped to think
how lucky you and I are
that things in life may be hard
but not as not as hard as they could 

so the next time you are feeling bad
and worrying about yourself
just think of those who really know
the cold and awful truth

and maybe even stop
the next time you see someone
and ask them of their name
or of the name of someone else 

who maybe has it really bad
who's worried about more
than what they have
or what they haven't got 

and maybe sometimes even say
I'm sorry for your rough times
and let them know that someone
cares to know who they are 

and if you find who they are
and believe you'll know then
that everybody has a name
and someone who loves them 

sometimes i feel really bad
that i don?t know their names
but then i stop and remember
a name is just a name 

and i hope the next time i meet someone
who has it worse than i think i do
i hope that i can just walk up
and say i love you

©Kacey Holton

 What are We Doing

what are we doing

what is going on

why cant anyone see what i see 

why cant i see what they see

i feel as though i am a child being told to go to my room i wont understand anyway

"this is big people talking "

they tell me to hush unless i am asked a question

they ask me my opinion  but don?t care for my answer

they hear my explanation and tell me i am stupid for feeling as i do

what do i do now

how do i protect my family  friends and children from something that no one will explain

why are we hiding behind a man we didn?t want  who is just hiding behind us

why is he making all our decisions without regards to anyone else  and not letting us be involved in the decisions   and then hiding behind us telling us to go forth and protect him under the ruse of protecting us

why are we acting no better than them but saying we are SO MUCH better than them

why is it we cant have a woman leading us   because women are so emotional and hormonal  but it is ok to have a man lead us  when men by nature are driven by anger and hostility

why are they trying to go against us when everything we stand for just shows we thrive on violence

cant they see

don?t they notice

the movies we watch

the songs we sing

the way we treat one another

we show everything with violence

we sing praises to killing authorities

we pay to see movies that show us blowing up each other

we arrest and there for punish each other for hurting each other

and the way we punish is with more of the same

we thrive on fear and pain

it is the strongest thing we know how to provoke in one another

we show no mercy to ourselves

why would we show it to someone else

we can not forcibly induce love  and so we forcibly induce hate

we can not tolerate it not being forced so we take action to scare, hurt, and anger each other til we can then enforce the hatred we feel for ourselves

then we blame each other and others for making us do it

why cant anyone see that this is not a means to an end  but an end period

this will not solve a problem    just create more

but yet we will not feel justified without it we will not feel our losses have been redeemed unless we create more losses for others

we will not lose our terror unless we strike terror into others hearts

we will not feel comfort unless we forcibly take it from another

when will it end

it will not end

it is just a viscous circle of hatred that grows so fast and feeds off of itself until it blankets every heart and soul

we say we do it in the name of love

love for our families        

love for each other

love for our God

but yet how can such hate  be born of such love

how can such violence be born from a wish for peace

how can i trust when our leaders are keeping so many secrets

how can we put so much faith in a man we didn?t believe in the beginning

how can I explain this to my children when no one will explain it to me

what do i tell them to quench their nightmares when i am waking to mine

why do i have to be the child when our leaders wont GROW UP!!

 ©Kacey Holton

I REMEMBER

 I can remember

those first sweet snuggles

as a child loving her parents.

Those innocent friendships

of adolescence

that weren't always so innocent.

That first secret crush

that would have killed me

if anyone knew.

That first kiss

that made my stomach quiver.

The hidden thoughts in the dark

about how it made me feel.

I can remember

the sweet anticipation

mixed with overwhelming trepidation.

The combination so strong

to make you shake

as a zipper is slowly pulled down.

the thoughts

the questions

"oh, how I want..."

"oh, but should I really...?"

The inside grin after

when no-one knows but you

so you think.

The feeling of  being  "so grown".

I can remember

the giddiness of putting on a bridal dress

making my hair  "just so"

wanting the pictures to be perfect

when looked back upon.

Trying to seem so in control

when I was totally out of control.

I can remember

the pink line.

Is it really there?

Does it really mean?

Me? A mom?

The awestruck feeling

when my heart stood still

as I held that little pink child.

The determination that nothing bad

can ever happen again.

Then come the firsts,

the first tooth

the first word

the first steps

the first birthday

the first day of school

And after you have done the firsts

four times over

and it all becomes routine

Auto-pilot life

get up - do this - do that - this is next

go to bed and start over

I can remember

tracing hearts in the sand,

now I trace the line on my wrist.

Only with a thumbnail

never more.

It could never be more

there is too much greed.

"This is MY LIFE!"

I am not giving it away

to let someone else have

But still tracing that line

It would break the routine

So you start looking to new faces

remembering the firsts

wanting more

but soon that to becomes routine

just something to add to the

auto-pilot life

but all it is

is more in the same routine

so you trace the line again

no real cuts

but really you are cutting

into your soul

into your heart

the scar so real in your mind

So that you can no longer look at your wrist

without seeing the line that you trace

but still nothing more

soon it will be the lasts

the last day of school

the last child to "leave the nest"

the last meal with us all together

the last time you see pure innocence

in your daughters eye

and you know she is creating her own

" I remembers"

and then the routine starts again

with more firsts

the first wedding

the first grandchild.

Me? A grandma!

Will I still trace the line?

Will I still remember?

©Kacey Holton